MANIFESTO FOR MY UN-USELESS REVIEWS

my original inspiration was japanese anarchist kenji kawakami, and his chindōgu 珍道具 art movement. in short it is a parody of "the suffocating historical dominance of conservative utility", where instead chindōgu 珍道具 finds joy in things that are almost useless, thus un-useless.

and to some extend that inspired the way i went about designating genres to video games, that are otherwise useless for actually categorizing the game, but there is joy to be found in the almost useless nature of the categories, that celebrate the uniqueness of the games in question, and with the added intend at poking fun at "efficient" categories, that while more efficient, flattens the game they categorize, or have baggage attached.

to further prove this point, i'd like to look at some of the central tenents of the chindōgu 珍道具 movement, the so called "10 commandments", and see how they apply to my style:

  • I. it cannot be for real use - in this case the categories are not actually useful. games with good rain is not an actually useful category.
  • III. it must have the spirit of anarchy - in part my reviews were born out of just a spite of the current state of the video games industry.
  • IV. they are tools for everyday use - i approached this list with a focus on the fact that sometimes i just want a game to pop on while i'm listening to a podcast.
  • VI. humour must not be the sole reason for creation - thou my reviews are comedic most of the time, they are still honestly sincere and made with love for the games that i write about, and the special place they hold in my heart.
  • X. it must be without prejudice - the games industry is so full of vitriolic bigotry, so i wanted to highlight some marginalized stories in games, and to make apparent the inherit bigotry within popular franchises.

SMALL OPEN WORLD GAMES

fundamentally one of the worst pieces of "standardization" (of which its crimes are many, but i shall write about some other time) is the open world, and its habitual presence, it is not wrong to say that most games are BLOATED with it, and as such i have come up with criteria for what i dub small open world games, that run counter to the worst aspects of the genre.

although to begin with, what even is an open world? well, the shortest, simplest, and susinctest answer is, its a mediated enviornment (really getting a use out of my academic degree) which grants the player agency in how they choose to explore it. all signifiying, absoloutely nothing as the real answer is VIBES. as certain games will obviously fit these criteria, and yet not actually feel accurate to be described as such.

so then? how do SMALL open world games set themselves appart? cause surely its not a SIZE criteria, since if anything size comparison seems to be one of the worst drivers of bloat in the open world genre, instead its based on a few aspects, first and foremost, the LACK of forgettable spaces!, to artificially upscale the size of an open world, one can fill it with forgettable space, being parts of the mediated enviornments that are made to be forgotten. repeat reoffenders of this is bethesda, and ubisoft.

therefor, a criteria of SMALL open worlds, is that no space is made to be forgetable, that every inch of space is made memorable and unforgetable, this of course, is impossible to achieve. but for comparison, how much of a AAA game's open world is made to be un-experienced, filler space between key points, whereas, one of the shining examples of small open worlds, the HITMAN franchise, where each level is an intricate puzzlebox wherein almost every little inch of space is uniquely memorable, and present interesting challenges.

this ultimately serves to create a space which you become intimitly familiar with, the yakuza franchise for one is a great example, in how it uses the limited space of kamurocho, and has the player create an intimate bond with the layout and streets, and through repeat enforcement, creates an internal memory of the city's physical space. its often through repeat exposure to the same enviornment, as opposed to continually opening up the world, to new and unfamiliar enviornments, which is the standard of things in open world games, that distinguishes a small open world from its counterparts.

to provide a few case studies:

    THE HOME - Gone Home - probably the most controversial, when i say its a small open world game, but fundamentally its a mediated enviornment which the player has agency in their exploration of, and it is fundamentally about the intimate exploration of our personal belongings and the histories and narratives one can gleam from the debris of an average household. the attention to detail in every object, makes an open world that not just has memorable space, but even memorable clutter.

    KAMUROCHO - Yakuza - oh, her sweet siren song, the ring of pachinko, buzzing of neon, the quiet murmur of crowds, no space has ever been the same as Kamurocho, another classic in the small open world genre, the benifit to the familiarity factor is its apperance in almost every game from Yakuza 1 through to 7. reusing the same locations again and again, while slowly dripfeeding new ones. But by the end of your time with the series, the street map and iconic locals from stardust and serena on tenkaichi street, to the champion district off taihei boulevard, will be burned into your muscle memory.

    HAWK PEAK - A Short Hike - the hike to the peak in a short hike, is at first seemingly contrary to the title of the game, not short... the initial joke is that you're told its just a short hike to the peak where you might get phone reception... however as you quickly find out, the hike is anything but short... as you search high and low the island for ways to make progress towards the summit. however once at the end its only been two hours... in fact the hike was relatively short... and as the credits roll, you get to swoop down from the peak and take in all the places you've been, and you get to realize the intimate bond you have forged with each and every inch of the island. a seminal *small* open world, especially so in the design of yeah technically its a tiny island you can easily cross the entire map in a minute or two... yet the progression towards the peak is gated in such a way that it demands you really familiarize yourself with the space.

    EASTSHADE - Eastshade - oh, eastshade, how can one describe thee, a painting can only capture so much, but the fact that every inch of the island is designed to inspire you, and drive you onwards, and that wherever you look, is a gorgeous view to be put onto canvas. to really get at what eastshade does so well, a discussion one finds within the topic of "open world games" is the idea of "lived in cities" and many devs will make large open cities, with lots of building interiors, and background filler NPCs, but no place has felt as lived in, or even made me want to live in it, as much as the gorgeous city of Nava... it is with utmost sincerity an love, my favourite video-game city.

    LORDRAN - Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition - this is an instance that is slightly harder to argue, but that i feel holds true, during ones first experience the world of dark souls feels ever expanding, complex, bewildering, and almost imposible to navigate, but by the time you are experienced, and have overcomed the worst challenges, the world becomes intimate, helped by its interconnectedness, and repeat playthroughs on NG+, the world becomes *small* in a positive way. though it pushes the boundary, especially with some of the nastier and more forgetable segments of blighttown, though even then a case could be argued that none of it is *forgetable* spaces, due to the intense suffering they cause.

A REBUTTAL OF ███' THESIS ON METAFICTION

by Pamònaz

Introduction:

I have recently read an inflammatory thesis that has been published by one, ███ ████████, at the University of ██████████, with the longwinded and exhausting title "█████████████████████████████████"¹ its a contemplation on the essence of the metafictional genre that makes wide-sweeping generalizations, and it is overflowing with sentimentality unbenefiting the academic field. It opens, quite pretentiously with a quote from the third act of Tom Stoppard's absurdist play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, quote: "GUIL: There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said -- no. But somehow we missed it. [...] Well, we'll know better next time."² using the end of the play merely to play with the imagery and themes of the metafictional genre, invoked merely for the aesthetics of it, to uplift their thesis and make it have the appearance of academic vigor and intellect.

But, to begin with in their opening statement, ███ lays out their endeavor to pursue what is at the core of the metafictional genre, what they themselves find so intriguing and appealing within it, and to outline a few examples of the genre and make clear why they are exemplary examples, all of these are amenable goals, but ones that they never seem to deliver upon, for reasons that I will discuss later on in this rebuttal.

¹ /losgelöst.

² Stoppard, Tom: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead